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Big Tuna Cans Himself in Miami

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Big Tuna Cans Himself in Miami

AP

Bill Parcells, the Executive Vice President of the Miami Dolphins, watches the football team work out Monday, July 28, 2008 in Davie, Fla. during the third day of training camp. (AP Photo/J. Pat Carter)

Five days before the Miami Dolphins' season was set to kick off, executive vice president of football operations Bill Parcells left his team hanging just three years after joining them and has taken the beloved "consultant" job making way for his former protege Jeff Ireland to take over as executive VP.

What a gig. Parcells has it made since parting ways with Jerry Jones following the 2006 season. You could tell he was fed up with everything by the time he left Dallas, but he wasn't quite ready to hang it up and go retire to Saratoga Downs just yet, so he went to take a front office job with the Dolphins.

Here, I have an idea. I'm going to step down as a journalist and go be a "consultant". I'll still draw a huge paycheck — well, not so huge seeing as how I'm a starving journalist — and do absolutely nothing.

This whole consultant mess began a while back when Bill Walsh took a consultant gig with the 49ers after leading them to be the team of the 80s. It gave way to other people doing the same thing, such as Don Nelson with the Mavericks. As we all know, that brief marriage ended really well.

Of course, perhaps it was fitting that one of Parcells' lost moves in his former position was bringing former Cowboys linebacker Bobby Carpenter into Miami after he was CUT from THE ST. LOUIS RAMS after his disappointing career in Dallas as a first-round pick of, you guessed it, Bill Parcells.

Lost in all of this is the fact that Ireland will now be running the front office for the Dolphins, just months after he created a national controversy when he asked eventual Cowboys draft pick Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute in a pre-draft interview. Frankly, it's time the media and fans just get off of his case and let him move on with his life as the executive vice president of football operations.

Oops.

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