Welcome To Duck Season

They say that coaches are hired to be fired.  But when you hire Wade Phillips to be your head coach, you do it so that you can fire him RIGHT AWAY.  As an NFL fan, I’ve always dreamed about firing coaches.  That’s the appeal of Wade Phillips.  You don’t have to wait long to experience the rush of seeing him lose his job.  It often happens faster than the man himself can polish off a bag of mini donuts at a State Fair.

That’s why it was so baffling that Wade managed to skate through the entire offseason without getting canned by the Double-J.  I mean, come on.  Mike Shanahan gets fired after choking away a season and Wade Phillips somehow avoids the same fate after committing the same sin?  Firing Wade was an easy call, even if the list of quality coaches willing to take his place under the Double J’s thumb is considerably small.

Well, make no mistake, there is no chance in hell that Wade Phillips will be the coach of this team next year.  It’s a lock, and yesterday’s presser with Jerry Jones was the first glaring sign of that eventuality.  The idea that Wade can suddenly shift from jolly player’s coach to stern taskmaster is a crock.  It’s something desperate coaches try to do all the time, and it never works.  Rich Kotite tried it.  Norv Turner tried it.  Even Wade tried it before Denver fired him.  Oooh, loogit!  Coach Wade says we have to do pushups now?  Let’s hang him up by his underwear and throw tomatoes at him!

Yesterday’s “get tough” charade was a tacit omission that Phillips’ previous coaching strategy – which I assume included allowing players to hang on ceiling fans and set fireworks off at team headquarters – was a failure.  That’s the coach he’s always been.  The idea that he’ll suddenly morph into Tom Coughlin and be successful at it, when his players know how labored of an effort it is, is a load.  It's like a parent suddenly trying to enforce discipline in the house after years of spoiling their kids. Welcome to duck season, Coach Phillips.  Hope you’re wearing camoflauge.

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