Nicole Romanella O’Neal, a San Diego mom of two, was happy to accompany her daughter Penelope, 6, to her first Girl Scout cookie "kickoff."
Penelope, a Daisy Scout, was excited to learn all about being a good cookie salesperson. The pair stopped at different stations and practiced knocking on doors, giving a cookie-sales speech, making decisions about safety and creating a sign for their troop's cookie booth.
At the last station, there were older Girl Scouts pretending to be different types of customers the girls may encounter. When O'Neal saw that one of the stereotypes was "The Healthy Indulgence" customer, she says she "was immediately pretty surprised." Then, the Girl Scout leading the presentation suggested that if a customer says they're on a diet, you should offer them the cookies without artificial sweeteners.
"At that point," O'Neal says, "I blacked out."
Get DFW local news, weather forecasts and entertainment stories to your inbox. Sign up for NBC DFW newsletters.
Since it was the last station of the kickoff, O'Neal quickly shuffled her daughter to the car. "I was fuming," she says.
Even so, she waited until she got home to mention the subject to her husband because she didn't want to draw her daughter's attention to what had just happened.
Upset by the "detrimental language" her daughter had heard at the cookie kickoff, O'Neal says, "I opened my phone. I typed out what I was seeing in the note section of my phone, and I posted it to Instagram."
Entertainment News
Stop giving unnecessary explanations
It can be difficult to resist the smiles of a sweet Scout asking, "Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" O'Neal certainly wouldn't judge you if you did make a purchase, but if you are not interested, she begs you to refrain from mentioning diet, calories, body flaws or weight.
“A simple no thank you, is completely acceptable. In fact, it’s perfect,” O'Neal wrote in her post’s caption.
"Nobody is mentioning these things out of malice," O'Neal says. She assumes that some potential cookie customers feel bad saying no and overcompensate by giving unnecessary explanations. "It's just an awareness that people don't have. I'm simply asking them for mindfulness."
Interestingly, Girl Scouts USA shared a similar sentiment on their Instagram page two weeks ago with reminders to "curb 'diet' and 'skinny' talk" and "recognize the cycle of body drama." They even included a post that says, "I am always jaw droppingly shocked at how many adults that visit booths find it appropriate to talk about their health issues with us about cookies."
Be aware of your wording
If you think 6-year-olds are too young to be affected by talk of diets, weight and size, think again.
"I knew about my body size in kindergarten," says O'Neal, mentioning an insult that has stuck with her through the years. "Little messages affirm and shape who we are when it comes to body image. I am uber aware of the way I talk and interact with food in front of my daughter."
O'Neal has spent years struggling with disordered eating, which she describes as "an unhealthy or complicated relationship with food." Because her disordered eating was affecting her everyday life, O'Neal sought therapy and then started her Instagram account, @MondayDieter, to process what she learned.
She even pursued and completed a master's degree in food science and is studying to become a registered dietician.
O’Neal points out that one cookie customer making a comment about being on a diet may not be a big deal. But if a 6-year-old hears 10 people groan about being on a diet within an hour or two, it has a bigger impact. "Children aren't born hating their bodies. They are born with an innate sense to self-regulate. They grow up around adults who talk about their own body flaws," she says.
So, what should you say to Girl Scouts?
O'Neal plans to allow Penelope to participate in cookie sales. After all, she'll be learning valuable lessons about teamwork, handling money and entrepreneurship.
But what if Penelope hears customers talking about their diets or asking about the "healthiest" cookie?
"My plan is to step in and say that all the cookies are a great choice," she says. "I'll redirect the conversation and add in appropriate messaging that all food is healthy because it gives us energy."
We contacted Girl Scouts USA and a spokesperson shared a message for cookie customers with TODAY.com via email: “When people approach Girl Scouts at a cookie booth, we hope they celebrate the courage it takes for girls as young as 5 to conduct business transactions with customers. We encourage them to ask girls what they want to do with their cookie money (cookie proceeds stay local). Ask them what they love about selling cookies. It’s about more than the cookie boxes.”
In fact, if you want to support the girls but don't want the cookies, troops often have a way for you to purchase a box that will be donated to organizations within your community.
And if you truly don't want to make a purchase of any kind, O'Neal says, "Just say, 'No thank you' without giving a reason. Because the reason can be detrimental."
This story first appeared on TODAY.com. More from TODAY:
