Forget the roses, blow off the chocolates, forego the jewelry. Win a fair lady’s heart with a heart-shaped pizza.
Well, if she’s really into pizza, that is.
Papa John’s pizzeria, for the second year, offers Valentine-shaped pies from now through Feb. 14 because it really wouldn’t make sense to sell them on Feb. 15.
The national chain sold 60,000 of these babies last year, which probably says something about the state of romance in this country. With 2,800 domestic stores, that averages out to about 21.4 heart-shaped orders per location.
The choice of toppings, too, could serve as a barometer on the relationship. Extra jalapenos and a liberal sprinkling of crushed red pepper, and yeah, hot. Anchovies and extra garlic? Might want to hire an attorney to shore up that prenup.
Yes, it’s cheaper and easier than making reservations at an already-booked swanky restaurant, but is that the face a guy really wants to show his love on Valentine’s Day, even if he does rent a chick-flick, too? Hope that couch is comfortable, buddy.
Somehow this one just doesn’t seem to scream and moan “romance.”
Oh, and do they have heart-shaped pizza boxes, too, or would that spoil the surprise?
Bruce Felps owns and operates East Dallas Times, an online community news outlet serving the White Rock Lake area. He’s been married and divorced three times. He is in no position to give relationship advice. Order the pizza.