Everything you need to make your Turkey Day a success

PETA Asks Turkey, Texas, to Change Its Name to 'Tofurky' for Thanksgiving

PETA offers to make a vegan holiday feast in exchange for one day name change

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    PETA would love it if you gave up this Thanksgiving meal for Tofurky.

    We haven't heard much from the folks with the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals lately, so of course it's time for them to make requests that make headlines, just in time for Thanksgiving.

    We know they want publicity, we know by writing this article we're giving it to them, but we're starting to feel the holiday spirit, so here it goes.

    On Monday PETA sent a letter to the mayor of Turkey, Texas, asking Pat Carson to change the name of his town to "Tofurky" for just one day.

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    The animal rights group said in a news release: "turkeys suffer virtually every day of their lives, right up to and including their slaughter, and that eating turkey and other meats is an invitation to serious health problems."

    The only health problem we've experienced is that trytophan coma after eating the Thanksgiving meal, but then again we wait 365 days for that feeling.

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    To sweeten the offer, PETA said it will prepare a full-course vegan holiday feast for the town residents as an incentive to change the name.

    According to the 2000 census Turkey boasted a population of 494 --- SALUTE!

    In case you're wondering where exactly Turkey is in Texas, drive to Childress, and keep driving, when you get to Estelline turn west on state Highway 86, if you get to Quitaque you've gone to far.

    "By changing its name to 'Tofurky,' Turkey would send a clear message that delicious, savory mock meat is an easy way to celebrate without causing suffering—and give a bird something to be thankful for," said PETA executive vice president Tracy Reiman.

    We have to wonder if PETA will try to convince the country Turkey to change its name next. Good luck with that.