I am here today to apologize for a huge mistake I made during the first half of the season in 2009.
I am not here to make excuses. There are none.
I am not here to ask for sympathy. That would be asking too much.
I fully understand that I disappointed a lot of people----my family, my players, coaches, as well as the team’s leadership, especially Nolan Ryan and Jon Daniels, as well as young people who may have looked up to me.
I am truly sorry for my careless, dangerous, and frankly, stupid, behavior last year.
Clearly, you have never seen me speak from a script before. But this is a time that I need to get the words exactly right.
Here’s the biggest question: how and why did this happen?
That’s a question I have had to face in numerous sessions with counselors. I’ve learned a lot about myself personally, and I recognize that this episode was an attempt to dodge personal anxieties and personal issues I needed to confront.
That was the wrong way to do it. It was self-serving, and believe me, not worth it. I know you will ask, and so here’s the answer: this was the one and only time I used this drug.
I made a huge mistake, and it almost caused me to lose everything I have worked for all of my life.
Shortly after I did this, MLB notified me that I would have a routine drug test. Before even taking the test, I notified the league about the drug use. Right after that test, I told Jon Daniels and Nolan Ryan about my shameful behavior. I offered them my resignation.
They asked a lot of difficult questions. Remarkably, these two men, after a lot of thought and prayer, allowed me to stay here through last season.
However, they also directed me to immediately begin MLB’s drug treatment program, which is a thorough and exhaustive process, and it includes the administration of drug tests at least three times a week.
I am proud to report to you that I have completed that program.
I am not proud to admit this terrible error.
This morning, I talked to our players. I assured them that this will never happen again, and I asked them to forgive me. In the true spirit of a “team,” they seemed to embrace me not only as a manager but as a human being.
I won’t let you down again. Please know that I will personally take on the challenge of telling young people my story and my mistake. I don’t know what form that will take, but I am committed to do that.
I am hopeful that our fans, both Rangers fans and Major League Baseball fans, will accept this heartfelt and humble attempt to say: I’m so sorry for what I did.
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