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Monday Watch List: Jersey Housewives!

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Monday Watch List: Jersey Housewives!

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and count down the days until the “Mad Men” season premiere. Only six days to go. Looks like I’ll have to drink this Manhattan and befriend a fetching stewardess to help pass the time. LET’S GO!

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF JERSEY – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) It’s the season finale tonight of this Bravo show about women who hang out together even though they don’t really like one another. Tonight, Danielle stuns a dinner party by whipping out the book that details her past drug use and arrest record. Then the drama heats up as the guests, one at a time, sit down and read that book in REAL TIME. You’ll be stunned. You’ll be horrified. You’ll be asleep until Thursday. ANTICIPATION: CATTY!

ANTHONY BOURDAIN: NO RESERVATIONS – 10:00PM (Travel Channel) Tonight, Tony travels to Liberia. I used to work at an office that had a book called “The World’s Most Dangerous Places” in the bathroom. I read it cover to cover over the course of a few months. The most dangerous countries on Earth were given a rating of five skulls. Here are the countries that got five skulls: Chechnya, Colombia, The Sudan, and Liberia. Not Iraq. Not Afghanistan. Not Somalia. You’ve got to work hard to be more violent and anarchic than Somalia, and yet Liberia managed to pull it off. Let’s hope Tony makes it out of there to eat another day. ANTICIPATION: PEOPLE WITH GUNS!

BEHIND THE MUSIC: USHER – 8:00PM (VH1) The pop superstar gets his own hour retrospective this evening. You’ll learn in lurid detail how Usher figured out how to cheat on women and get Grade A songwriting material out of it. Why, he’s cheating on you now while you’re watching it. He a dog! ANTICIPATION: SCANDALOUS!

OBSESSED – 10:00PM (A&E) A Germophobe is terrified of odd numbers. Like 3. Or 17. Or 139. Or 6, which isn’t technically odd, yet is rather bizarre anyway. I never trusted that 6. It just looks like it’s up to no good. I’m watching you, 6. ANTICIPATION: 1! 11! 983!

THE BACHELORETTE – 8:00PM (ABC) Tonight, Ali takes one of the guys to a heart-shaped island. Because the shape of an island makes it inherently more romantic. If the island were shaped like the number 6, Ali and her man would be killed by a volcano. ANTICIPATION: PEOPLE ON VACATION!

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