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The Picks: Conference Championships

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It’s that time of week. Time to man up and make your pick for the AFC and NFC title games. Get it right, and you will become the guy everyone you know turns to for gambling advice. You’ll know everything there is to know about teasers and 3-team parlays, which sound like sexual maneuvers are pretty much the exact opposite. You’ll know all the Chinese bookies to call in town. Fifty years from now, you’ll be the drunk sleeping on the floor of an OTB. A glorious life, that is. Get it wrong, and you’re just another loser. Here we go:

Scott Crisp: Vikings 31-28, Jets 17-14

Josh Alper: Saints 34-31, Jets 19-16

Bill Simmons: Colts 24-13, Saints 34-27

Nine of Ten ESPN Experts: Colts. And ESPN’s wire-to-wire season of gutless, bland picks comes to a near close. Seeing these guys pick games is like seeing Mike Greenberg try and be funny.

Six of Ten ESPN Experts: Saints.

Pete Prisco (CBS): Cowboys.

Jason Whitlock (FOX): Colts, Vikings. Whitlock said Brett Favre was the Ali of football this week. I don’t even know where to begin with how wrong that is.

Andy (Cowboys fan I know): Cowboys 34, Saints 0. (“What? The Cowboys aren’t playing in this game? That’s where you’re wrong. We all have imaginations for a reason, people.”)

Index Card I Threw Up In The Air With The Name Of Each Team On Either Side, Seeing Which Team Would Land Face Up: Saints, Colts. (Index Card record: 8-8)

The Wife: Vikings, Jets.

Me: I’m a bit scared of the numerous people backing the Jets out there. This could easily turn into one of these games where the Colts go up by three touchdowns by the half and you think to yourself, “Oh, that’s right. The Colts are, like, way better.” Then again, I have little interest against picking against the immortal Rex Ryan and the even immortaler Darrelle Revis. Jets 21, Colts 19.

In the other game, a lot of people are saying the Saints are CLEARLY the better team. Really? The Saints are really good, but they aren’t a million times better than Minnesota, which has a better pass rush and a perfectly competent offense. I think it’s as even a matchup as you’re going to get in a Title game. Both underdogs cover. Saints 35, Vikings 34.

Yours in the comments.

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