Every Friday, we’ll tackle five big questions for the Cowboys going into the weekend’s game.
1. Can the Cowboys rush for 200 yards for the third game in a row? Marion Barber is expected to return on Sunday, just in time to replace Felix Jones, who got injured subbing for Barber while HE was gone. I fully expect Tashard Choice to get injured during the course of this game, with Felix coming in to take his spot next week. And then Barber can get injured again the following week, and so on and so forth. It’s like a round robin of nagging leg injuries.
It’s impossible to know how good the Denver defense really is, given the overall weakness of their last two opponents. The best way to predict how they’ll fare against the Cowboys No. 1 rush offense is to see how they did against Cedric Benson and the surprisingly good Bengals in Week 1. In that game, the Broncos held Benson to 3.6 yards per rush. Over the next two games, Benson rushed for nearly 5 yards a carry. The Denver defense has yet to allow anyone to score more than 10 points against them. Gut feeling: the Cowboys won’t be as successful running the ball against this outfit as they have been in recent weeks. If they’re going to win this game on the road, they’ll need extra help from Romo and any receiver not named Jason Witten. And if the Broncos win, they are quite suddenly for real. You’ll never hear the end of it from Billy Simmons.
2. Do I get free fried green beans if a punt hits the video board? No. No, you do not. There is no giant video board at Invesco Field. Can you believe that? How the hell do you sit through a football game at a stadium with no giant TV to stare at? What is this, the Middle Ages? Bizarre. However, I have it on good authority that you get a free tray of sliders if Roy Williams ever decides to join the huddle. Prepare to be disappointed.
3. If the Cowboys lose, will I look back on this offseason and curse Jerry Jones for not trading Romo for Kyle Orton and his novelty-sized whiskey bottle? No.
4. Will Wade Phillips ever look like a commanding presence on a sideline? Nope. There isn’t a goofier looking head coach around. The fact that Wade stole Lou Holtz’s rug and stuck on top of his own hair doesn’t help matters one bit. Josh McDaniels may be a raving lunatic, but at least Broncos fans have the comfort of knowing that, when their team makes a mistake, the camera won’t cut over to Dick Van Patten on the sidelines with a confused look on his face. And you wonder why Flozell kicks defenders in the shins on every other play. Look who he has to answer to. OH NOES! MR. STAY PUF GON BE MAD!
5. Who’s calling the game? Why, it’s your smug little friend Joey Buck in the booth for the 4:15 kickoff, with Troy Aikman joining him. Joe Buck’s late night show aired on HBO the other week. It airs once a quarter. Four times a year. Does that make ANY sense at all to you? “Hey guys, hope you like the show. See you in three months!” It’s Joe Buck Live. Why does it run on a nearly Olympic time schedule? If only Artie Lange were the sideline reporter. He’d be like the Goose, only not awful.