It’s that time of week. Time to man up and make your pick for this week’s game. Get it right, and you will become a neorevolutionary. Disaffected voters will flock to your fiery brand of anti-tax, libertarian political views. They’ll stage huge rallies in rural areas and throw tea into rivers in protest, ALL FOR YOU AND YOUR ANGER. Get it wrong, and the night shift at Hardee’s will keep you in its stern grip. Here we go:
Peter King: Cowboys 27, Bears 17. “I am no doctor of football.” No, you certainly aren’t. “I do know, however, that when you have 71 offensive snaps in a game, as the Cowboys had Sunday night in Washington, and Felix Jones touches the ball on 10 of them, you've made a game-planning error.” My friend, that only touches the very tip of this team’s game-planning errors.
Bill Simmons: Not in yet. But if you think Mr. Amazon Prime won’t gloat about picking the Skins last week, you’re full of the crazy.
Ten of Ten ESPN Experts: Cowboys. Six games were picked unanimously by ESPN’s “expert” panel this week. What do think the odds are those picks will end up at .500 or below? Yeah, I think they’re high too.
Michael Silver: Cowboys.
90% Of Yahoo! Users: Cowboys.
Pete Prisco (CBS): Cowboys.
Andy (Cowboys fan I know): Cowboys 28, Bears 0 (“Those are all defensive touchdowns by Dallas. How can Wade Phillips be such a good defensive coordinator but such a lousy head coach? Is it really that big of a leap? Sometimes I think head coaches shouldn’t even have football backgrounds. Just find a really good leader, like James Cameron, and put him in charge. I swear the guy who made Avatar would be a better head coach than Wade Phillips.”)
Index Card I Threw Up In The Air With The Name Of Each Team On Either Side, Seeing Which Team Would Land Face Up: Cowboys (Index Card record: 1-0)
The Wife: Bears
Me: I was way off picking Dallas to rout Washington last week. Despite that incredible display of ineptitude, everyone still seems to be in love with Dallas yet again against the Bears. I suppose it makes sense, given that Jay Cutler is coming to town and will happily provide the Cowboys with any number of frighteningly easy interceptions. And Marc Colombo and Kyle Kosier should be back, which also bodes well. And it’s the home opener at Jerryworld. All signs point to Dallas righting the ship, which is probably why they won’t. BEARS 23, COWBOYS 20
Yours in the comments.
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