Over the last two years much has been made about the exorbitant prices Jerry Jones charges for everything associated with the stately pleasure dome he build in Arlington. From parking to pizzas, nothing comes cheap at JerryWorld.
Even he hasn't sunk quite as low as the NFL in an attempt to wring out every last dollar, though. The league announced Wednesday that they would be selling tickets to a party zone outside the stadium during the game. The ticket gives you a chance to sit on the grass near the stadium and watch the game on television. It's not getting in to see the game, but the atmosphere figures to be pretty cool so it is worth the 30 or 40 bucks to make it happen.
Or, it would be if the event was priced anywhere in the realm of the sensible. The tickets will run you $200 each and they are only available in groups of four. That means you'll need to find three other suckers/friends willing to give up the chance to watch the game on TV while sitting on a comfy couch for free so that they can spend a hefty sum to fight traffic and sit on the ground outside. Better hope it doesn't rain because you can be sure there won't be any refunds.
But, wait, there's more! The NFL will also be giving each group of four their own parking pass, four game programs and four scarves. Although the price you're paying for those scarves suggests merino wool, at the very least, we're guessing they will actually be woven from a fabric of slightly lesser quality.
And even though you won't be any closer to the Super Bowl game than the Cowboys, you'll forever be counted as one of the lucky people watching the game in person. The NFL, in an attempt to boost someone's ego, are counting the people on the grass as part of the game's actual attendance. Heck, why not just count everyone in the state of Texas?
"We've never done this before," Brian McCarthy, the NFL's vice president of corporate communications, told ESPN Dallas on Wednesday.
We're not sure if he's bragging or apologizing.