That sound you heard yesterday afternoon was the Texas border slamming shut to drug running and all manner of contraband.
The Texas Rangers of the law enforcement variety, not the baseball version, named Chuck Norris, “Walker, Texas Ranger,” an honorary member of its ranks, and criminals on both sides of the border went into hiding at the mere hint he’s a bona fide lawman.
Alas, he’ll receive but a certificate and not a badge. Then again, he’ll just fashion a badge from the metal shards of the bus that hit him on the way to the ceremony. Norris 1, bus, 0.
Of course, the jokes — old and new — flew like a flurry of fists in the climactic fight scene yesterday. My favorite, from Unfair Park, turned out to be, “Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird.”
But let’s be serious for a moment here, shall we? The Rangers didn’t bestow the honor on Norris, Norris was bestowed on the honor.