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What’s With Jay Ratliff’s Sack Celebration?

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Jay Ratliff is awesome. He stuffs the run. He rushes the passer. He’s a very big reason your Dallas Cowboys now sit atop the NFC East. He is KONG. He’s having an All-Pro caliber season, and lots of people are beginning to take notice. Which is why it’s so alarming that his sack celebration sucks.

    Oh, that sack celebration. You saw it Sunday night. You saw it twice. Ratliff brought Donovan McNabb to the ground, got up, stretched his arms out wide, and let out a primal scream. There any number of names we could give this demonstration. The Hulk. The Frankenstein Unbound. The WWE Heel. All of those would be appropriate here. No matter how you label it, it’s still weak.

    Ratliff isn’t alone among NFL defensive lineman in this regard. Jared Allen also has an incredibly lame sack dance where he pretends he’s roping a steer. Gilbert Brown used to do that “grave digger digging dirt” mime routine. And Shawne Merriman’s Lights Out dance makes me want to hunt him down with a RPG launcher. Thank goodness Merriman is terrible at sacking people now.

    I don’t understand why defensive linemen are so lacking in creativity when it comes to celebrating sacks. Not only are their celebrations weak, but once they invent one, they simply repeat it ad nauseam.

    This won’t do.

    Wide receivers come up with new celebrations for every TD they score, and there’s nothing about them that should be inherently more creative. If Brandon Marshall is any indication, they’re a far DUMBER group of people. I demand Jay Ratliff hunker down and put more thought into this routine. The Cowboys are good now. They’re national. Angry screams won’t do. I suggest some sort of judo chop, or perhaps he can lay on the ground and fry like bacon. Or he can unsheath an invisible He-Man sword and scream I HAVE THE POWER! Or he can slap handcuffs on the QB and scream YOU BEEN RATTED OUT! Something. Anything. For God’s sake, he has Emmitt Smith and Michael Irvin at his disposal. Those men are masters of dance!

    I emailed Martellus Bennett about this, and he says, “Hahaha I like the scream incredible hulk thingy.” Fair enough, Marty B. But what if Ratliff were to do that and then pound his fists on the ground and say HULK SMASH? It’s the little flourishes that matter in fine arts such as these.