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What Planet Do Wade Phillips And Jerry Jones Live On?

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    NEWSLETTERS

    There is a stark difference between being an optimist and being a Pollyanna. And people of Dallas, your head coach and your owner are decidedly in the latter category. The Cowboys are 1-4. They are third in penalties. They are seventh in penalty yards. They are twenty-ninth in turnover margin. They are visibly disorganized and atrociously dumb. But that isn’t stopping Jerry Jones and Wade Phillips from trying to make you believe that this team is somehow, in the face of all that incompetence, any good. Wade, for one, believes the Cowboys are the bestest 1-4 team in the world:

     

    “I guess we think we’re a better 1-4 team than some teams that are 1-4,” Cowboys coach Wade Phillips said, according to Clarence Hill of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. “I mean mentally. They don’t think they might not win the next game. Gosh, we might not win this next one. This team thinks … I still think they think they’re going to win this next game. Now, we’ve got work to do and all that."

    Inspiring words, to be sure. Someone have that etched onto a plaque and placed on a very large rock outside the practice facility, so that future Cowboys might rub it for good luck and always be reminded of Wade’s immortal words: WE’VE GOT WORK TO DO AND ALL THAT. I know I’m ready to DIE for that man.

    Please note that there are NO other 1-4 teams in football right now. So yes, Wade, you are better than all the other 1-4 teams. You’re also worse than all of them. Because they do not exist.

    Now, let’s hear what the Double J has to say:

     

    We've got a team that is playing well. This isn't a rationalization, but we're actually better each week. And we are playing better with the exception of the one thing that's got us in this position, and that's these unfortunate penalties.

    Got that? The Cowboys are getting better each week, except for the fact that they aren’t getting better because they commit so many penalties. Jones sounds as if these penalties will go away simply by magic. He appears unaware of the fact that penalties are the result of miscommunication and lousy preparation. That isn’t going to be fixed overnight with Coach Gosh We Might Not Win The Next One in charge. They aren’t playing better every week. They had two absolutely gut-wrenching picks against Minnesota. They’re special teams coverage is horrible. Their pass protection is lousy. This team is talented, but that doesn’t mean it’s any good.

    This is an owner and a coach burying their heads in the sand, and assuming that everything will find a way to naturally correct itself. Meanwhile, they have the best pass rush in football knocking on their door Monday Night. If Wade and Jerry can’t give this team a dose of reality, I assure you that Justin Tuck will happily do so for them.