Ed note: Later reports on Wednesday put the price of a pizza at $60, not $90 as was originally reported. Please see full update at the bottom.
One of the first things I did when looking into the Cowboys new stadium was to see what kind of food they have. This makes sense. I am a fat person, so my first inquiry into any new facility will be of a culinary variety. But when you go to the official site for the Double J’s new McMansionrena, you can only get a broad overview of what to expect from the stadium catering. There’s no menu, and there are certainly no prices. Because if you have to ask, of course, then you aren’t a true fan.
But one enterprising fellow, Steven M. Sipple (great last name) at Husker Extra (via With Leather and The Sporting Blog), did just that. And what did he find on the luxury suite menu there? Ooh, look! Cheese pizza! That sounds okay. What’s it cost?
Cowboyrita drinks for 14 bucks a pop… Tuesday’s tour took our group into a suite that can be leased for $800,000 a year — which doesn’t include the price of game or event tickets but does offer a large pizza for $90 (no toppings), 12-packs of domestic beer for $66 apiece and a four-pack of Red Bull for $22, among other ridiculously priced items.
That’s $90 for a plain pizza. It doesn’t fly. It doesn’t massage your testicles. It’s just a pizza. Want fresh basil on it? That’ll be an extra $20 there, fella. I can almost see paying $90 for a pizza if it’s flown by helicopter directly from Totonno’a in New York or Modern Apizza in New Haven, and then served on Megan Fox’s chest. That would be a $90 pizza. But I suspect the luxury suite pizza at the new Cowboys Stadium is closer to a lukewarm Red Baron pie served in a cardboard box featuring an illustration of Jerry Jones giving you the finger.
The other items are no less egregious. $14 for a Cowboyrita? Unless it’s served in an actual size cowboy hat, I’m not biting. The frozen margarita is always an easy way for vendors to rip off customers by giving them a slush puppy with three drops of tequila in it. And $66 for a 12-pack of Bud? Red Bull for $22? That’s insane. And just WAIT until you see what they charge for gruel. I haven’t seen gruel prices this inflated since the Depression. Hope you got your Party Pass, gang!
Update: Todd Archer, reporter and homemade sandwich eater for the Morning News, reports that the pizza is $60 "from what I was told." Obese fans, please let us know what you see when you go.
Update 2: Shutdown Corner also confirms $60.