Jimmy Johnson speaks with the media during media day at Alltel Stadium in Jacksonville, Florida on February 1, 2005. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)
His name is Jimmy Johnson and he recently became the spokesperson for ExtenZe, the number one male-enhancement tablet. The man who twice took the Dallas Cowboys to the football promised land in the early-nineties recently signed a deal to hawk the "male-enhancer" in 15-, 30- and 60-second television spots, which promise, more or less, to take the average joe to a different sort of promised land altogether.
"Most men want to perform the best they can in just about everything," Johnson says, standing on a fictional sideline. "Isn't that why we buy the biggest and best of everything? So if you want that maximum performance edge every day, I say go log with ExtenZe--I do."
The commercials are part of a campaign to legitimize the product through placement in large retailers, such as GNC, Walgreen's and Wal-Mart; and this is probably a step in the right direction, considering the company's old spokesman was none other than "the Hedgehog" himself, Ron Jeremy.
This isn't to say that Jimmy Johnson discussing the male libido isn't a bit unnerving; it certainly is, and it makes us yearn for the days when retired sports figures peddled vacuum cleaners, blenders and grills, to name a few. It's just not as unnerving as the old ad campaign, which featured the aforementioned Jeremy and a slew of couples who looked as though they met through the back pages of the Dallas Observer.