Adrian Taylor hurts every day since he lost his son, Christian.
"Everybody who knows me, knows he was my heart," he said. "Just hearing the word, 'son,' I have a tough time with."
Christian was fatally shot Friday by Arlington police officer Brad Miller during an altercation between himself and the officer, police said. Moments before, police said video surveillance recorded the teen damaging cars at Classic Buick GMC and driving his Jeep through a showroom window.
The latest news from around North Texas.
Christian is not gone to his father. He said he finds some peace when he smells his son's room and looks at his pictures.
"I cry every day, but this helps me," Adrian Taylor said. "I lay in his bed and just I talk to him."
Arlington police said they're still investigating the fatal shooting of the 19-year-old Angelo State University football player. The teen's father said he hasn't followed the investigation much.
"I can't bring myself to watch any of it right now," Adrian Taylor said. "That's second on my agenda right now."
The family does not endorse any of the planned upcoming protests, the teen's father said. They will not attend the Mothers Against Police Brutality vigil at the Arlington Police Department headquarters Monday or a larger one at Cornerstone Wednesday.
"[Christian] was about peace," Adrian Taylor said. "So, first of all, I want everyone to keep peace and don't be so quick to judge him or anyone else."
Adrian said he hopes to further Christian's goal of making the world a better place. He hopes the idea of Christian lives on.
"He mentored people," Adrian Taylor said. "He wanted to make a difference. He's even bigger now."
The investigation into the shooting is ongoing. On Monday, Arlington Chief of Police Will Johnson said more evidence in the investigation would be released in the coming days.
NBC 5's Jeff Smith and Frank Heinz contributed to this report.