Tony Romo Had The World's Lamest Bachelor Party

Tony Romo got married this summer, and while I dare say that Romo sure knows how to invite attractive people to his nuptials, it pains me to report that the Cowboys QB is not quite as skilled when it comes to throwing a bachelor party, as the Dallas Morning News reported: 

The 31-year-old signal-caller and his 14 or 15 buddies ditched the alcohol and partying. Instead, they traveled to a cabin in West Virginia and played a few games of hide-and-seek.

“I didn’t really feel like going out, drinking that night,” Romo described. “I mean, we were there for a couple of days, so I was just like, ‘Let’s just find something to do here.’ We tried coming up with a game, but with 14 or 15 guys, there aren’t a lot of non-drinking games at that age you can do.”

The ultra-competitive Romo even took pride in the fact that the group played twice and he won both times.

Oh! Super! You won BOTH games of hide and seek? TALK ABOUT THE HEART OF A CHAMPION. Seriously though, he's lying about this, right? There's no possible way that 15 grown men would accede to spending a night playing hide and seek without alcohol. I refuse to believe it. The reason there "aren’t a lot of non-drinking games at that age you can do" is because no sane man wants to play them. Not drinking and playing games is for Couple's Pictionary Night. IT HAS NO PLACE IN THE LIFE OF THE STAR QB FOR YOUR DALLAS COWBOYS.

Listen, I understand this. A little. When you get into your 30s, you get a little tired of strip clubs and bar fights and jumping off of the hotel balcony into the pool. I get that. There is such a thing as a cool low-key bachelor party, one that involves perhaps some golf, or some time at the beach, or even a little poker. That all makes sense. And perhaps our man is still wildly overcorrecting himself after being criticized for gallivanting around Mexico with Jess Simpson before the playoffs. But hide and seek? UNACCEPTABLE. Someone rent out a villa at the Bellagio and secure next weekend and we can redo this party and make it into something RESPECTABLE. Otherwise, your team will be led into the season by the 2011 Woody Lodge Hide & Seek Champ.

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