More than 80,000 fans are expected to go to AT&T Stadium on Sunday for Wrestlemania 32.
What. The. What?!
I just don’t get it. Well, I used to. Sure, I loved pro 'rasslin’. Went with Dad to the ol’ Sportatorium in Dallas to see Fritz Von Erich and Black Jack Mulligan and … I was 6.
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Since then, I’ve grown up. A little. I’ve become smarter. And no, I now don’t/can't appreciate professional wrestling. And neither should you.
The WWE is more fake than Heidi Montag’s chest and more ridiculous than Donald Trump’s hair. It’s scripted. It’s not real. Unauthentic. If you pay money to attend Wrestlemania 32, what, you go home and sit on the edge of your seat for three episodes of Real Housewives of (Fill In The City) and - gasp! - when they get into a cat fight?
I get it. The Cowboys suck and the Mavericks suck and the Rangers are only almost really good. You need a sports fix. You want to associate with a winner.
But professional wrestling is an insult to your intelligence. Think about what you’re doing with your life as – guaranteed this will happen – the referee slams his hand violently to the mat to a count of One … Two … Thr ... just before the almost-pinned hero violently and miraculously escapes and rallies to “win.”
C’mon. You’re better than that. Aren’t you?
I’m not doubting WWE’s popularity and success. Couple years ago the week-long event generated $140 million in economic impact in New Orleans. It’s just so, well, lame.
Triple H vs. Roman Reigns? A No Holds Barred Street Fight? Hell in a Cell match? Triple Threat match? Total Divas? I’m an immature goofball but it’s all just soooo silly. Maybe the fans in attendance are forced to watch as part of their probation sentencing?
Seriously, I’d rather watch a WNBA pre-season game. Or the Harlem Globetrotters. Again, didn’t we outgrow their predictable act around, um, puberty? As a guy who will still watch an episode of The Three Stooges, I guess it's all in the presentation. If the WWE didn't present itself as so tough and real and badass, it wouldn't be so dang laughable.
I attended the first concert (George Strait) in then-Cowboys Stadium and the first football game (Cowboys-Giants) in 2009. Since then the $1.2 billion coliseum has hosted a plethora of events, but none more ridiculous than Sunday’s featured "act".
The 10 Worst Events Hosted At AT&T Stadium
10. 105.3 The Fan Father’s Day Barbecue, 2010 – Look, any event where yours truly was hosting and posing for photos deserves eternal ridicule.
9. Super Bowl 45, 2011 – A disastrous week of winter weather, dangerous falling ice and seating debacles culminated in a forgettable game against two of the Cowboys’ worst enemies, the Steelers and Packers.
8. Jonas Brothers, 2009 – Do I really need to explain how this polluted the pristine new palace?
7. Religious Events – Whether it’s the Jehovah’s Witnesses (2014) or Harvest America (2016), these groupls need to remember a time-tested truth in these parts: God put a hole in the roof to watch his ... favorite football team.
6. NBA All-Star Game, 2010 – Record attendance of 108,000+ fans was cool and all. But any game in which Dwyane Wade is the MVP is annoying.
5. Club America vs. FC Barcelona, 2011 – Sorry, wrong kind of football.
4. Monster Jam, 2010 – Jerry Jones’ life’s work was turned into demolition derby, with 11 giant trucks aimlessly running into each other on a sprawling dirt playground.
3. U.S. Open Women’s Bowling, 2011 – Dwarfed by the colossal stadium, the bowlers and lanes look like ants on a Hot Wheels track.
2. Opera Simulcast, 2012 – Even Mozart’s "The Magic Flute" sounds hollow in the world’s biggest and most ill-fitting opera house.
1. Wrestlemania 32, Sunday – Let me guess, at one point two wrestlers with hit each simultaneously and then over-exaggerate their dramatic staggers around the ring, bringing fans to their feet in nervous excitement? Barf.
A native Texan who was born in Duncanville and graduated from UT-Arlington, Richie Whitt has been a mainstay in the Metroplex media since 1986. He’s held prominent roles on all media platforms including newspaper (Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Dallas Observer), radio (105.3 The Fan) and TV (co-host on TXA 21 and numerous guest appearances, including NBC 5). He lives in McKinney with his wife, Sybil, and two very spoiled dogs.