Six Fearless, Hopeless Predictions For Sunday at Indianapolis

*After a vicious hit by DeMarcus Ware on IndianapolisPeyton Manning, the league will introduce a new rule: If you injure a quarterback, they get to injure you back, without any penalty.

*After noting the quaint splendor of the area while in Indianapolis for the game, Jerry Jones will buy the State of Indiana. The state economy will then collapse.

*Due to a wave of injuries dealt to the already battered Colts, the team will be forced to call on a local fan to come out of the stands, suit up and play wide receiver. The funeral will be held Wednesday.

*The Cowboys will mismanage their final drive once again, and down three, the team will attempt an improbable 82-yard field goal. David Buehler will narrowly miss.

*Sidelined by a strained calf, Marion Barber will live up to his nickname “Marion the Barbarian” by eating raw meat on the bench and striking a side judge with a wooden club.

*Fans watching the television broadcast on Fox will be shocked on Sunday when the Fox Sports Robot becomes self-aware and starts attacking everyone.

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