The best part of Michael Irvin joining the cast of the forthcoming season of "Dancing With the Stars" is that he won't even need to change his wardrobe to participate. He's well stocked with the shiny fabrics that feature prominently on the hit ABC show, which should give him a big edge over other competitors who aren't used to dressing like mirrors were never invented.
That's not the only reason to like Irvin's chances at taking home a ballroom dancing trophy. He was always fleet of foot, of course, and Emmitt Smith took the prize home in 2006 which shows that Cowboys fans support their boys even when they're battling sequined C-listers instead of Giants or Redskins.
A devoted voting block will come in handy for Irvin, since he's up against former Texas congressman Tom DeLay. Excluding his awe-inspiring hairdo, DeLay's greatest strength is rigging voting districts to make sure he comes out ahead. That kind of gerrymandering has never been tried on a reality show, to the best of my knowledge, but it would be unwise to count out a former exterminator who became one of the most powerful politicians in the country.
The Playmaker should also keep his eyes on former UFC superstar Chuck Liddell, especially if he should show up to the studio after Liddell's already sitting with the show's hairdresser. Irvin could get away with plunging scissors into the neck of his former Cowboys teammates because of his status on the team, but Liddell isn't the type to be thrown off by Irvin's fame or a puncture wound.
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If Irvin does go on to win the competition, it would put a lot of pressure on other former Cowboys to get in on the ballroom action. Who doesn't want to find out if Charles Haley's unique brand of pregame motivation works as well on the dance floor as it does on the football field? Would dancing be Alvin Harper's long-awaited shot at redemption? Can Nate Newton make it through an entire tango?
Important questions all, and if Irvin can succeed we may get a chance to find out the answers.