Lance Armstrong Blasts Jerry Jones

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Say this for your Dallas Cowboys: They never lose quietly. In the wake of a thorough beatdown, you can always count on any number of people inside and outside of the organization to come out blasting. And who's this week's Token Public Cowboys Basher?

/spins wheel

Why, it's cycling legend and alleged human apothecary Lance Armstrong, who tweeted this in the wake of Dallas' 34-7 loss to Philly on Sunday Night:


"If" I had a few hundred million bucks I'd buy the Dallas Cowboys then get the hell outta the way.

It's funny because Armstrong actually IS a millionaire many times over, but is forced to spend all that money on libel lawyers. ANYWAY, Armstrong is just echoing what everyone has been saying for ages: That the Cowboys won't win consistently until Jerry Jones relinquishes his death grip from the team. Now, you and I know that will NEVER happen, which is horrible and kinda makes you want to die. The only satisfaction you can take during this grim time is when someone like Armstrong stands up and speaks truth to power.

If only there were a way to use Armstrong's tweet as a kind of rallying cry. Perhaps if we were to "occupy" Cowboys Stadium, locking ourselves inside after the next home game and refusing to leave, bathing with cups of stale beer and singing folks songs around the Bud Light kiosk. Perhaps we could organize a protest so massive that it simply cannot be ignored, a grass roots movement that ends up accumulating so much media attention and political power that even the likes of the Double J are forced to appease it. WE COULD DO THIS. ALL IT TAKES IS DETERMINATION AND LOTS OF SPARE TOILET PAPER.

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