GAHHHHH! TRADE FOR BOLDIN NOW!!!!

So Pro Football Talk reported last night that the MRI results on Roy Williams sprained wrist were negative. This is encouraging, in theory. Williams is healthy and won’t miss any time. However, this little scare has had some negative effects on Cowboy fans out there. Namely, it has reminded them that the team is actually going ahead and relying on Roy Williams to be its top receiver. You may not have truly realized this fact until just now. Allow me to supply you with the proper reaction.

GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Remember, Roy Williams has only played 16 games once in his career. And, even when he has played, he’s never exactly been Mr. Reliable. Also, he doesn’t tip, and he’s been known to take dates out to McDonald’s. That’s the guy you’re relying on to catch 80 balls and score a dozen TD’s this year, gang. And if he fails, the top job belongs to the unspectacular Patrick Crayton.

Now, you could argue this shouldn’t be that big of a problem for the Cowboys. After all, the team only throws to wide receivers if Jason Witten is quintuple-covered, or out sick with Legionnaire’s Disease. It’s not like having wideouts is NECESSARY to run Jason Garrett’s offense.

Regardless, this little episode highlights just how perilously thin the Cowboys are at the position. And if the Double J excels at one thing, it’s making a blatant desperation move far too late for a problem to be solved. Like when he traded for Roy Williams last year! There’s no reason he couldn’t do something just as rash and ineffective this go around. A couple suggestions.

1. Trade for Anquan Boldin. Fifteen teams supposedly inquired about Boldin during the offseason. And who wouldn’t be interested in the NFL’s strongest receiver? The only problem would be Arizona’s pesky insistence that teams be willing to give up roughly six first round picks and the naming rights to their own stadium in exchange for Boldin’s services. Seems a bit steep.

2. Sign a lousy free agent wideout who you’ve heard of. The Double J likes himself some big names, and there’s no shortage of familiar players still out there ready to be claimed. Oooh, Dante Hall! He was good once! And Ike Hilliard! I’d argue he still has potential! And, of course, there’s the biggest name of all…

3. Sign Matt Jones. The perfect option. He’s cheap. He’s young. He has tons of potential left to squander. He fulfills the requisite “Jerry’s a nutjob to bring this guy in” cachet needed for any Dallas free agent prospect. And it’s just the kind of big splash signing that reinvigorates the news cycle for 48 hours. Sure, it does nothing to solve the team’s actual problems at wideout. But at least it gives you the illusion that the problem could be fixed this year, and that’s about as good as it gets when the season could hinge on Roy Williams’ fragile little wrist.

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