Romo a No-Go On Proposal

With training camp still a week away and baseball immersed completely in the dog days of summer, American sports fans are left without sufficient diversion from the sad breakup of Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson a week ago. (Especially on ESPN).

The whys and hows of the story pervade our national thought—more than the healthcare issue, more than swine flu, even more than Aiiia’s looming breakdown on “Real World: Cancun”— causing utter confusion and sleepless nights. 

But a story on MSNBC.com has come to our aid in this time of great confusion and disconnect, aiding us, perhaps, in understanding just how such a storybook romance could crumble so quickly and definitely.
 
According to an insider close to Romo, he panicked late in the relationship under the pressure of Jessica’s desire for a proposal.
 
“Tony pulled the plug because he couldn’t stand the constant heat Jessica was putting on him to get married,” the source said to the National Enquirer.
 
Per the source, the relationship had been strained for some time, the tension coming to a head while planning Jessica’s 29th birthday party.
 
“The final nail in the coffin was an argument they had over how to celebrate Jessica’s birthday. She wanted a splashy Ken & Barbie-themed bash with all of her celebrity friends, and Tony wanted a quiet, low-key dinner for just the two of them.”
 
The story is already being hyper-romanticized, as is evident as the article continues, “For Romo, the party plans allegedly illustrated why he could never make it work with Simpson. She preferred the pop glitz lifestyle, and he just wanted a normal relationship that didn’t interfere with his career.”
 
Star crossed lovers, bound and driven apart by circumstance; the only question left is, if these kids can’t make it, what hope do the rest of us have?
 
Don’t worry football fans; only a week until training camp.
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