Michelle Obama's Waxen Debut - NBC 5 Dallas-Fort Worth

Michelle Obama's Waxen Debut

Life-sized replica of first lady looks reasonably convincing

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    Michelle Obama's Waxen Debut
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    Why must we celebrate our leaders -- and their spouses -- by making them into terrifying wax fetish dolls instead of nifty animatronic puppets?

    Back in olden times, people used to mummify the corpses of their leaders and put them in underground vaults beneath pyramids, or else dump them in bogs. But these days, we don't have to wait until notable and noteworthy citizens are dead until we do weird things with their bodies, because of Technology. For example, we can make scary waxen replicas of celebrities and put them in a museum for people to look at.

    And here’s the crazy thing: people will pay real cash dollars for the privilege of looking at a spooky pile of wax.

    The actual person remains intact, while the celebrity-crazed public worships at the feet of a creepy humanoid simulacrum. Everybody wins!

    Madame Tussauds in Washington DC recently unveiled their newest big project: a wax replica of Michelle Obama, the first lady. They’ve been working on it for months. Early models suggested the fake Mrs. Obama would strongly resemble the sort of crazed, menacing gargoyles you see sticking their tongues out from the corners of medieval French cathedrals, but the fine artists at Madame Tussaud’s seem to have worked the kinks out because the final product looks fairly convincing.

    Cardigan: check. Pearls: check. Sleeveless dress: check. Face and hair: very much like the real Michelle Obama. This stands in marked contrast to her husband, whose wax replica still looks like a demon.

    The sculptor and performance artist Sara K. Smith writes for NBC and Wonkette.