Once a year, all of the nation's favorite politicians and plutocrats gather in a fancy Washington ballroom to congratulate each other for not being dumb and poor, like the rest of America. They tell funny jokes, and for one wonderful evening get to drop the whole "Republicans vs. Democrats" act and come together in a spirit of elitist brotherhood. This sacred occasion is called the Alfalfa Club dinner, and it was held on Saturday.
This year's dinner featured such exciting guests as Democratic hero Barack Obama, Republican hero Sarah Palin, and also Joe Lieberman. Obama made some cracks that were supposed to be self-deprecating, but ended up sounding self-important, because that is the magic of Barry: he could read a grocery list and sound incredibly impressed with himself.
Sarah Palin didn't give a speech at the dinner, but the fact that she was there at all was a terrible slap in the face to congressional Republicans, who had hoped, instead, that she'd swing by some boring retreat they were holding in Virginia. Palin told the Republicans she couldn't make it to their winter camp because she had to attend to urgent state business in Alaska, which apparently included hanging out in Washington and snarfing down shrimp cocktail with a known associate of domestic terrorists.
And Joe Lieberman, a very special bipartisan figure -- because both Democrats and Republicans hate his guts -- made some hilarious remarks about Dick Cheney:
"We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he hurt it moving some things out of his office. Personally, I had no idea that waterboards were so heavy."
A HA HA that is about as funny as the time George Bush started a war because of weapons of mass destruction, and then joked at a black-tie dinner about looking for the WMD under the couches of the Oval Office!
In a just and perfect universe, the entire assembly of Alfalfa Club attendees would have been kidnapped by space monsters and sent to another dimension to toil in an intergalactic vinegar factory for 1,000 years. But alas this is Earth, so we are left hoping that at least Joe Lieberman felt embarrassed in the morning.
Sara K. Smith also writes for Wonkette and assumes her invitation to the Alfalfa Club dinner got lost in the mail.