Nick Cannon is opening up about his final moments with his 5-month-old son, Zen.
The little boy, who Cannon, 41, shared with model Alyssa Scott, died over the weekend from a brain tumor.
On the "The Nick Cannon Show," Cannon tearfully described taking Zen to the ocean to watch the sunrise on Sunday morning. The TV personality explained that he woke up and felt drawn to the water.
“Holding my son for the last time, it was a beautiful setting,” an emotional Cannon told viewers. The family was also able to watch the sunset together.
On Wednesday, Cannon led the audience in a heartfelt prayer before starting his show: "Father, we may not understand everything but we know your purpose," he prayed. "We know we fall short of your glory, but never your grace."
He said he was feeling "numb" when he announced Zen's death.
"I'm grieving, I feel guilty on so many levels," Cannon revealed on his show. "I never wanted to exploit this. I kept it private for so long since I found out about Zen's diagnosis, out of respect for his mother, Alyssa. "
Cannon praised Scott’s courage and grace throughout Zen's cancer battle.
“Alyssa was the strongest woman I’ve ever seen. She was the best mom and continues to be the best mom possible,” he said.
Photographer Candice Berman paid tribute to Zen and his parents in an Instagram post. Berman took portraits of Zen on two separate occasions.
“What a sweet, beautiful baby boy and what a strong mama he has,” Berman wrote in part. “I feel so blessed to have met him and his mom. I can’t even begin to imagine what his mom and dad are going through at this time.”
Zen’s nickname was “Z Chill” because he was always smiling, Cannon said.
Cannon said that his son was about 2 months old when he started having some breathing issues.
“I noticed he had this nice sized head too,” Cannon said.
Shortly after the symptoms appeared, Zen was diagnosed with hydrocephalus, a complication of a brain tumor. He underwent surgery and had a shunt placed to drain fluid buildup.
But last month, at around Thanksgiving, things took a turn for the worse.
“The tumor began to grow a lot faster,” Cannon shared.
Only about 1,200 to 1,500 children under 4 years old are diagnosed with brain tumors every year, according to Dr. Susan Chi, the deputy director of pediatric neuro-oncology at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Boston Children’s Hospital.
“Brain tumors in children are very rare,” Chi told NBC News.
Zen was Cannon’s youngest child. The “Wild ’N Out” star and DJ Abby De La Rosa welcomed twin boys, Zion and Zillion, in June. He shares a son, Golden, 4, and daughter, Powerful Queen, 11 months, with Brittany Bell. He is also dad to twins, Monroe and Moroccan, 10, with ex-wife Mariah Carey.
“I’m so grateful to my entire family for coming together during this time and for being so loving and not judgmental of me,” Cannon said Tuesday.
He dedicated the show to his "beautiful son Z."
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