Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and watch all those Chilean miners get freed from their underground prison. Meanwhile, you voluntarily haven’t left your basement in five months. That’s great hustle! LET’S GO!
DAILY SHOW – 11:00PM (Comedy Central) Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice comes on the show to promote her new book, “A Memoir of My Extraordinary, Ordinary Family and Me.” Holy smokes, that is an awful title for a book. It’s even worse than “Rice Cookin’!” which I presume was the original working title. Expect Jon Stewart to ask Rice lots of touch questions about Iraq, and for the audience to clap at those questions.
I love Jon Stewart, and I love Stephen Colbert, but I’m counting down the days until their joint Washington rally is finally over. Every night, both hosts bring up the rally, and then the audience claps, and I am decidedly NOT entertained. I’d rather be dragged through a field of ninja stars then attend a rally. ANY rally. People who go to rallies are inherently annoying and all too enthusiastic about doomed causes. They should have just rented out a room at the Omni and given out free beer. ANTICIPATION: LIBERALY!
GOD IN AMERICA – 9:00PM (PBS) Tonight is the exciting conclusion of PBS’s six-hour series about God in America. I can’t wait to see what happens and to have all my existential questions finally cleared up. Inner peace awaits in the exciting wrapup. ANTICIPATION: CONTROVERSIAL!
TOP CHEF: JUST DESSERTS – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) The pastry chefs are charged with creating fashion-themed desserts tonight. I assume the winning dessert will be half an After Eight mint and a bag for regurgitation. ANTICIPATION: SKINNY COW ICE CREAM SANDWICH!
SURVIVOR – 8:00PM (CBS) The tribes get regrouped tonight. That means no more oldies versus youngies. NO! Don’t force the young ones to live with the old folks! They smell! And they get tired too early! ANTICIPATION: FEISTY!