Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and jimmy-open wooden crates. It’s always fun to jimmy things open with a crowbar. LET’S GO!
THE MASTERS – 3:00PM (ESPN) Ah, The Masters. A tradition unlike any other. Wait, this is a golf tournament, right? Because I can think of a lot of better traditions than a golf tournament. Like Thanksgiving. Much better tradition. Anyway, I may kid the Masters for its comical self-reverence and its dubious history when it comes to the rights of women and minorities. But the golf itself is quite compelling, and the sight of Augusta National on your TV is one of the great harbingers of springtime. So tune in for all the pretty flowers, then listen as Jim Nantz goes way overboard in praising Phil Mickelson’s courage. Coverage continues all through the weekend. ANTICIPATION: CHIPPY!
MOUNTED IN ALASKA – 10:00PM (History Channel) Okay, we’ve got reality shows about pawnbrokers, movers, fishermen, truckers, auctioneers, coal miners, mechanics… any other rugged blue collar profession we haven’t covered? TAXIDERMY! Of course! How could I forget the practice of killing animals and then stuffing their corpses? This new series covers the hot stuffing action at Knight’s Taxidermy in Anchorage. And outside of petroleum, stuffed moose heads are the state’s top export. ANTICIPATION: STUFFY!
INTO ICELAND’S VOLCANO – 9:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal network) Scientists probe the volatility of Iceland’s Thrinukagigur volcano, which is located close to Eyjafjallajökull, the volcano that caused so much airline havoc back in 2010. Something tells me these Icelandic volcanoes would be far more dormant if the didn’t have so many letters stuffed into them. No wonder they’re primed to explode. ANTICIPATION: THRINUKAGIGURIFFIC!
REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) Bravo’s New York franchise is back for another season of awkward dinner parties and socialite women who aren’t nearly as attractive as they think they are. No Bethenny this time. She’s got a solo career now. She used to be all about the REALITY, man. ANTICIPATION: RAWR!
THE BEAR WHISPERER RETURNS – 10:00PM (Animal Planet) Color me surprised that a bear whisperer would EVER return. Watch as bear expert Steve Searles tries to evict a bear from its sleeping spot. Because bears reply so kindly to eviction notices. ANTICIPATION: SCRATCHY!