Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and mop the sweat off your forehead with all the napkins you stole at KFC. LET’S GO!
SWITCHED AT BIRTH – 9:00PM (ABC Family) New show! This one is about two teenagers who find out they were switched at birth. And instead of getting all cutesy with it, ABC Family gives the concept a little extra depth by making one of the switchees filthy rich and the other poor AND rendered deaf after a childhood illness. So yeah, pretty serious doings a-transpiring here. Early reviews are fairly encouraging. You know what I would do if I found out I was switched at birth? Nothing. I’m 34. At a certain point, you really aren’t gonna care. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!
MY YARD GOES DISNEY – 8:00PM (HGTV) Another new show. This time, HGTV finds people who decide to give their backyards a Disney theme. That’s right, with princesses and teacups and pirates and I would assume very long lines. It’s a sick, demented awful concept, one that surely my child will get wind of ask me to replicate. Guhhhhhhhhhh. Did you know that the Disney Princesses are even branded on grapes? GRAPES. There is nowhere where Walt Disney’s filthy decayed hand cannot reach you. ANTICIPATION: PARTICLE BOARD CASTLES!
BEHIND MANSION WALLS – 10:00PM (ID) Third new show. NICE! This one chronicles true crime stories about rich people. And man, do I love a good true crime story where a rich person is killed. If they got a nice house and I don’t, then they got what’s comin’ to em! ANTICIPATION: JUICY!
ERIC CLAPTON CROSSROADS GUITAR FESTIVAL 3 – 9:00PM (PBS) Bill Murray (?!) hosts this Eric Clapton-led All-Star concert featuring the likes of Sheryl Crow, ZZ Top, Vince Gill, and more. And again, I must point out that Bill Murray is hosting. Has Bill Murray ever agreed to host anything? Kind of extraordinary, when you consider it. ANTICIPATION: TWANGY!
LAST MAN STANDING – 8:00PM (Lifetime) JAG’s Catherine Bell is a seemingly normal housewife with a striking past. She was a CIA agent! NO WAY! Then her husband, played by Anthony Michael Hall, gets kidnapped and Bell is pulled back into a life of international intrigue. It’s like “Salt,” except hopefully it isn’t breathtakingly stupid. ANTICIPATION: NOT COUNTING ON IT!