For you folks out there still trying to figure out if Twitter is some kind of nipple tassel sales depository, don’t bother. I’m afraid to tell you that the technorati have already turned their attention to a whole new venue, one that you will almost certainly not hear about until it’s a year too late, at which point you will still find it pointless and stupid.
It’s Ustream, a streaming video site where users can broadcast themselves live. Like Twitter, it’s a venue for real time communication. And, like Twitter, it has a sexually suggestive name that can’t possibly be an accident. I mean, really. Ustream? Was Goldenshower.com already taken?
Two athletes have already taken to the airwaves via Ustream: Chad Ochocinco (of course he has), and the increasingly unhinged Stephon Marbury, who at one point began crying on camera. Most of these videos are unwatchable and consist of someone like Marbury staring at his computer screen and urging people to comment in the sidebar, which they do. This produces a dynamic where people are commenting about watching a famous person who is urging them to comment. We’re through the looking glass here, people.
Well, it was only a matter of time before the Cowboys’ resident new media superstar Martellus Bennett decided to cross the streams and start his own Ustream channel, which you can view here.
I’ve watched some of it, and I can tell you that Marty B needs a bit of work on his presentation. I suggest he try the following tactics to garner more viewers:
1. Buy a lamp
2. Look up
3. Say things
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He could also afford to dial up the crazy, a la Marbury. Still, that doesn’t keep people from watching and leaving comments for the Cowboys’ backup tight end. Let’s sample some of their intellectual musings:
12:21 atlchamp: GUCCI1
12:21 dallasweetheart: SAY GOODNIGHT BRITNI
12:21 lightningdx426: peace out Marty B
12:21 ferminator21: shout out to brownsville
12:21 awgster: 85 says
12:21 L0r33zyTV: WHATTTTTTTTTTTT LOST ALL RESPECT 4 YA
12:21 Silk21: peace
12:21 anth0nyyy: wheres TO's show at?
12:21 ryan_shoemaker: HE GAVE ME A SHOUT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
12:21 SevOneDeu: T.O. is boring
Technology in its infancy. Is there anything more exciting?
