Horrors of Fashion: Handerpants

View Comments (
)
|
Email
|
Print

    NEWSLETTERS

    TK
    fredflare.com

    When we drive by Willhoites in Grapevine, we're often confused by the proliferation of accessories that adorn "Wild Hogs" -- insurance claim adjusters who double as Harley riders while sitting outside in leather chaps, bandanas and motorcycle boots.  All are stereotypical garb for riders, but we must object to the fingerless gloves.

    Don't get us wrong, we respect the culture (they'll beat us up if we don't) and we are certain that some pieces (like the boots) are essential to protecting the rider while whizzing around on the mean streets of downtown Grapevine. But fingerless gloves? Really? It's like a bully took a pair of scissors and clipped the tips off your leather handwarmers because you wouldn't give him your lunch money.

    But the sheer uselessness of fingerless gloves has nothing on this terrible product -- the handerpants. Nothing says "I will not put up a fight" like wearing tighty whities on your mitts. These wedgies for your hands are made from the same material your BVDs (let's hope they aren't your old pairs) and look kind of like the biking gloves Lance Armstrong would wear -- if he wanted to look like that weird kid in class that didn't wear pants when he got home from school.

    Innovation is one thing and being tongue-in-cheek is another, but these bad taste magnets aren't going to make the ladies sidle up to the bar and ask for your phone number. Instead, we think you'll be lucky to get out of the bar alive.