Working the Monkey Business

Sign posted for ‘lost one-legged spider monkey’

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    NEWSLETTERS

    TK
    James N. Mathis
    James N. Mathis and his son found this sign on a telephone pole by his house. "Honest. It's Just a few blocks from TCU" he wrote in an email to NBC 5.

    You can see some pret-tee weird stuff around here if you keep you eyes open and pay attention.

    An NBC DFW reader with a keen eye for the odd recently espied a rather, shall we say, different kind of "lost pet" sign in Fort Worth, close to TCU.

    And the sign said: "Lost, one-legged spider monkey with silver choke collar." Hmm, curious, George. But wait, there's more.
    "Likes Kool Menthol cigarettes and lite beer in cans," the little Philistine, "do not give it anything [underscored] in glass!!!!" There goes my exclamation mark quota for the year.

    "Answers to 'Stinky Nose,' " and really, doesn't everyone in the primate family? That's the monkey equivalent of "Hey, man."

    "Will eat cat litter ... needs medication." Well, yeah, eat cat poop and smoke Kool menthols, and sure, you're gonna need some meds.

    "If found, please call Alexis @ 817-759-7500."

    Ah ha, that's where the hooey hits the fan.

    A call to that phone number revealed that it belongs to the Fort Worth Zoo where a woman named Alexis works in the communications department, so, hey, Alexis, somebody's goofing on ya, hon.

    Another woman in the PR department -- I didn't catch her name … what do you think, I report on these things? Hell no, I just comment -- said, no, they don't even have spider monkeys at the zoo.

    The first clue, though, that it was a hoax was that a one-legged spider monkey was on the run. I mean, how far could a one-legged monkey get?

    Bruce Felps owns and operates East Dallas Times, an online community news outlet serving the White Rock Lake area. He is living embodiment of "monkey see, monkey write."