That's One Big Baby

Longview newborn weighs in at 16-plus pounds

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    by Bruce Felps

    This is why OMG made it into the Oxford English Dictionary.

    OMG, a baby boy born Friday in Longview entered the world weighing 16 pounds, 1 ounce. He measured 22 inches long — and why are babies long instead of tall? — nearly 2 feet tall. His chest measured 17 inches around, and his head, covered with thick dark hair, measured 15 inches.

    JaMichael — his parents are named Janet, who did the hard part, and Michael, so that’s a nice dual tribute — joined the land of the living just about big enough to center a sixth-grade football team’s offensive line.

    Yow, that’s one big boy.

    Nicknamed “The Moose” around Longview’s Good Shepherd Medical Center, the kid already is too big for diapers and such in the baby wing. He probably wears about a size 8 shoe, too, so goood luck with those booties.

    Oh, and not only yes but hell yes he was born via Cesarean section. You kiddin’?

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    Bruce Felps owns and operates East Dallas Times, an online community news outlet serving the White Rock Lake area. He is impressed and speechless.