Officials on the communist island are saying that by the end of the year, inhabitants could be wiping their butts with leaves and newspapers because the country is running out of toilet paper. (This would never happen under the rule of the Great Cornholio.)
Cuba is still reeling from the impact of three hurricanes last year that essentially crippled the country's economy and made it difficult for the government to pay for essential imports like toilet paper. Add to it the U.S. embargo against the island nation and help doesn’t seem like it will be coming anytime soon.
"The corporation has taken all the steps so that at the end of the year there will be an important importation of toilet paper," a state official told Reuters.
The country doesn’t have the materials to make its own TP anymore so that leaves residents in a pretty shi… well, difficult situation. Cubans have withstood the constant restrictions on freedom from the Castro regime for nearly 50 years but how long can you expect a person to live without toilet paper?
Could it be that the need for Charmin might ultimately lead to the downfall of the communist country?
In past decades, human-rights outfits like Brothers to the Rescue would have literally rained down rolls of toilet paper from airplanes traveling from Miami in a massive TP-ing of Cuba. But that option pretty much died after the Cuban government shot down some of their planes in the mid '90s.
So now Cubans have to hope visiting celebs like Bill Murray and Benicio del Toro will sneak in a few rolls their way to last through the year or else things could get really stinky.