Is That a Chainsaw in Your Pants?

Would-be thief shoves chainsaw down pants

View Comments (
)
|
Email
|
Print

    NEWSLETTERS

    Man attempts to steal chainsaw by stuffing it down his pants and waddling out of store.

    Commentary
    by Bruce Felps

    An Oklahoma man apparently just had to have that chainsaw.

    It sounds like the opening line to a joke. “A guy walks into a seed store and shoves a chainsaw down his pants.”

    No joke, though, it really happened earlier this week at Ross Seed Co. in Chickasha, Okla. A man tried to conceal and steal a chainsaw by putting it down the front of his pants because who would notice that bulge and become suspicious?

    Store employee George Graham, that’s who. “I seen the bar between his legs,” he told a reporter with KFOR-TV, the local NBC affiliate.

    Sharp eye, there, George.

    Employees chased the guy out of the store — and gotta hand it to him for having the agility enough to run with a chainsaw between his legs — and cornered him in a field. He dropped the tool [snicker], climbed a tree, scaled down to someone’s house, got chased out by the resident, ran to a nearby creek, and plunged in head first.

    His agility becomes even more impressive when you consider he did all this while allegedly drunk.

    Anyway, the local constabulary made the collar and 21-year-old Anthony Black went to jail.

    Sitcom writers couldn’t come up with this stuff, and if they could, they wouldn’t top the store manager’s closing line.

    "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,” Paul Horton said.

    And let’s hope it’s the last, particularly for a potential thief. That takes a lot of stupid.


    Bruce Felps owns and operates East Dallas Times, an online community news outlet serving the White Rock Lake area. He likes Oklahoma fine from a distance. A distance of about Dallas to the border.