Say, how about that Tim Tebow? Here's a young boy who came from humble beginnings armed with little more than a football and some beardy stubble, only to overcome hate and fear and destroy the GOLIATH known as the 0-6 Miami Dolphins! WHAT. A. STORY.
Sure, on the surface, it would appear that Tebow's success yesterday was the byproduct of playing against a hilariously inept opponent in an otherwise forgettable game, but then you'd be missing out on the SAVIORNESS of it all.
Let's go around the Interwebs and find the most gushing Tebow items we can, shall we? Woody Paige:
The Broncos seemed ready to enter the "Yuk for Luck" Sweepstakes, and Tebow-Haters were poised with poison pens and toxic texts.
That means you, Merril "Pontius Pilate" Hoge, with your cretinous criticisms and whatever else is in your alliterative arsenal!
Then we have Mark Kiszla, over at the same paper, who manages to out-Paige Woody Paige:
The ancient poets called it deus ex machina.
The Broncos call it the miracle of Tebow.
And Peter King:
Tebow… you saw it. You must have. Third-string for 53 minutes, transcendent for seven.
Tebow-mania just increased severalfold.
And this crowner from Michael Roberts at Westword:
The subject of Divine Intervention first popped into my head following Tebow's initial throw -- a short pass that absolutely, positively should have been transformed by Miami into a pick six. Somehow, though, the toss escaped the grasp of a Dolphins defender and fell harmlessly to the turf. Why? How? Earthly reasoning failed me.
Luckily, Tebow was just awful enough for three hours yesterday to temper most everyone's enthusiasm and refrain from formally anointing the Broncos QB the Pope of Intangibles.
There's already a strong set of bulwarks set up nationally to defend against sportswriters gushing about Tebow, so most of the praise you'll get will come with a set of conditions ("Now, we really don't know if he's any good or not, BUT..."), but make no mistake: Tebow is still the perfect sportswriting device, someone who apparently succeeds on grit and nerve alone despite being a WORLD CLASS ATHLETE.
If he has a few more victories like this, I assure you there won't be any stopping the "All he does is WIN" brigade. Take heed, America. The Tebow love-in is beginning in earnest.