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Red Fever Reaching Epidemic Proportions

Rangers’ team ‘doctor’ prescribes TV

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    Chuck Greenburg has way more fan appeal in his little finger than Tom Hicks does in his entire overextended sports portfolio.

    Greenburg last night posted a “medical warning” to his Facebook page. It serves as a “doctor’s note” to any given employer for any given employee who mysteriously succumbs to the Red Fever epidemic running rampant in the area and misses work today — starting at 12:30 p.m. on TBS — and tomorrow, 1:30 p.m.

    Symptoms sound bad, too, likely … well, not life threatening, let’s go with productivity threatening. They include turning into a werefan because of sprouting antlers and hands turning to claws, and Tourette’s syndrome-like random yelling of “Let’s go Rangers.”

    The only known cure, according to honorary team Dr. Greenburg, is watching the first two Rangers-Rays games on TV, during business hours. Got a feeling a lot of people won't go back to work after lunch.

    Now, try to imagine Hicks posting something like that. Can’t do it, can you?

    Bruce Felps owns and operates East Dallas Times, an online community news outlet serving the White Rock Lake area. He hopes Tom Hicks releases his death grip on the Dallas Stars, and soon.