Complete coverage of your AL Champion Texas Rangers

Look Out San Fran, Here We Come

You have a beard. Big deal. We have a freakin' claw!

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Giants fans try to keep the Rangers up late followed by some good-natured ribbing. (Published Wednesday, Oct 27, 2010)

    So your Texas Rangers arrived in San Francisco Tuesday, and were greeted politely by a bunch of old dudes playing trumpets outside their hotel all night? Big deal.

    That's the headline in San Francisco today, as if their fans think they are going to give their little offensively inept team a chance to win their city's first World Series? That isn't going to happen, because this city is going to be the one to win it all.

    Something Good - Rangers Jack O'Lanterns

    [DFW] Something Good - Rangers Jack O'Lanterns
    Something Good for Wednesday, Antlers up on your Jack O'Lantern. (Published Wednesday, Oct 27, 2010)

    DFW is the City of Champions, especially compared to your little rinky-dink place full of hippies. Cowboys-Niners? Cowboys. Stars-Sharks? Stars.

    If you're looking for something to rally behind in your time of desperation, I guess you can go rally behind your bearded closer who looks like he probably drives a late 70s model van with no windows in it. He likes to call himself "The Machine," huh?

    Rangers in Six: Matt and Newy

    [DFW Texas Rangers] Rangers in Six: Matt and Newy
    Newy Scruggs and Matt Barrie say the Texas Rangers will win the World Series in six games. (Published Wednesday, Oct 27, 2010)

    So you're two biggest stars are "Fear the Beard" Brian Wilson (wasn't he the drugged up Beach Boy?) and "The Freak"?

    We have "The Natural" and Elvis.

    Quizzing Ross The Former Intern

    [DFW Texas Rangers] Quizzing Ross The Former Intern
    Matt Barrie tests Ross "the former intern" Matthews' knowledge of baseball. He doesn't do so well. (Published Wednesday, Oct 27, 2010)

    Speaking of "The Natural", here is exclusive video of Josh Hamilton laying the smack down on your little 5-4 pitcher.

    Other than your ace and your closer, who the hell else do you have? A rookie catcher, who replaced our seasoned veteran, who is without a doubt striking fear into the heart of every Giants fan with his unmatched knowledge of your "awesome" pitching staff. Oh, and Aubrey Huff? Ha!

    Who do we have? Well, let's see, there's the AL Comeback Player of the Year, the soon-to-be AL Rookie of the Year, the soon-to-be AL MVP and the best postseason pitcher in baseball. Look, just to be fair and diplomatic, we'll give you one last chance to swap bandwagons. You still have a few hours.