Rice Gets Clubbed in Pro Golf Debut

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Getty Images for Beam Global
    That trophy's not coming home with you, Jerry Rice.

    San Francisco 49ers Hall of Fame receiver Jerry Rice might be a better golfer than you or me. But from the looks of his first day competing in a pro tournament, he won't get close to a green jacket unless he raids Craig Sager's wardrobe on Earth Day.

    Rice is competing on the PGA Tour this weekend, at the Fresh Express Classic at TPC Stonebrae in Hayward, Calif. And after one day, Rice is in dead last place out of the 152 golfers competing.

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    Technically, there are four golfers who have withdrawn or been disqualified whom Rice appears ahead of on the leaderboard. But when a drunk and fat John Daly is razzing your performance from his motor home memorabilia stand in the parking lot, it's time to wonder whether you've become a laughingstock.

    Rice finished Thursday's 18-hole itinerary at Stonebrae 20 points out of the lead and 12-over par. Dicky Pride finished the day in the lead. And you can wipe that smirk off your face right now, mister.

    To Rice's credit, he's ducking no questions and taking full accountability on his PGA blog. "I got killed out there today," Rice wrote, following Thursday's rough debut.

    The blog has video of Rice's round one performance. He misses the kind of putts you typically don't see missed in televised golf tournaments, unless it's Pebble Beach and Bill Murray is on his twelfth gin and tonic.

    If Rice doesn't improve his leader board standing by an impossible 85 slots in Friday's competition, he'll be eliminated.

    But say one thing for Jerry Rice -- even when he sucks at golf, he looks damn good doing it.

    Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who would advise Jerry Rice to stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.