"I have to walk by his office every day coming here, and when I go home, I have to walk by his office," Lt. Regina Smith said. "Put yourself in my shoes."
Less than four months after the death of her husband, a Dallas police widow says it's still hard to talk about his death, but she prefers to remember their last moments together.
Senior Cpl. Norman Smith was serving an arrest warrant at a Dallas apartment complex when he was shot and killed Jan. 6.
His wife, Dallas police Lt. Regina Smith, is back to work, but said her life is hardly back to normal.
"I have to walk by his office every day coming here, and when I go home, I have to walk by his office," she said. "Put yourself in my shoes."
She and her late husband, Norm, first laid eyes on one another more than 18 years ago in the most unromantic of settings -- the Dallas County Jail.
"Something inside of me stirred," she said. "I just stepped back; it was an unexplainable feeling."
At the time, she was a young rookie and he was a booking officer in the jail.
"I gave him my phone number, and we were together every day until January sixth of this year," she said.
It’s been less than four months since her husband died, and she said it's still extremely difficult to talk about.
"That's a horrific memory for me to deal with," she said. "I deal with it all during the day, all during the night, and it will be in my mind forever."
The memory she prefers to recall is the last time she saw her husband alive.
It was at Dallas police headquarters, the morning of Norm Smith's death.
"I never show affection -- part of our rules are not to do that -- and all this time, for 18 years, I wouldn't let him come near me when I was in uniform," she said.
But the morning of Jan. 6 was different.
"He came toward me, I went toward him, and we just kissed briefly," she said. "I did not know that would be the last time I saw my husband, but to end it like that, was just a true blessing."