My, my, the buckle on the Bible Belt seems to have come undone.
Men’s Health magazine, that bastion of national ranking lists, recently published its compilation of America's Most Sex-Happy Cities.
Austin tops the list, but that’s no great surprise. Politicians, lobbyists, and legislators are always screwing somebody, but then why isn’t Washington, D.C., in the top 10?
Dallas, though, came in as a solid wingman placing No. 2 on the list. And, hey, Arlington came in at No. 7, so way to go little bro’.
The survey relied on some curious criteria. Editors measured condom sales, the number of sexually transmitted disease cases, birth rates, and sex toy sales — hmm, 50-50 if it’s for mutual or solo use, and how would the editors measure solo sex numbers, and would that count in the survey? — to generate an overall ranking per city.
But let’s see … not all sex is condom-protected sex, and not all unwrapped sex results in diseased sex or procreation sex, so there would seem to be a hole in the methodology.
Eh, whatever. We’re having sex.
Bruce Felps owns and operates East Dallas Times, an online community news outlet serving the White Rock Lake area. He does not use “we” in that last sentence in the regal sense, far as you know.
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