Arlington Has a Penis Problem
By FRANK HEINZ
Updated 12:56 PM CST, Thu, May 14, 2009
Be careful Arlington, that marvelous new erection in the city may not be helping your image. A recent study by Men's Health may make outsiders think you might be making up for a lack of something.
According to Men's Health, Arlington's propensity for flaccidity helped them earn an unfortunate fourth-place ranking on the "limpest" cities list -- or those most in need of Viagra due to erectile dysfunction.
Arlington's ranking was reached through a survey of the habits of residents. Citizens were polled for weight, smoking, diabetes and a host of other factors that can contribute to a less than rigid response between the sheets.
Don't worry Arlington, you aren't alone. Fort Worth also failed to rise to the challenge and is ranked No. 5. Lubbock slumped in at No. 2 while Tulsa, Okla., came in dead last to earn a first-place ranking.
To stay fair, the magazine also listed those cities without such a high risk of such shortcomings -- though no Texas cities were apparently as prolific at producing as the following locales: No. 1. Boston, Mass., No. 2. Hartford, Ct., No. 3. Washington, D.C., No. 4. Atlanta, Ga. and No. 5. Burlington, Vt.
Oddly enough, in March of 2007 Men's Health also ranked Arlington as the No. 3 city in the country where single women could meet a single guy. After the release of their latest research -- that "singles" ranking may need to change.
First Published: May 14, 2009 12:10 PM CST
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