Mr. President, Find a Church Already!

Nation fears for Obama's soul as he delays important decision

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    NEWSLETTERS

    TK
    Without a church of their own the Obamas have been forced to pray with the Bidens.

    President Obama has settled nicely into Washington and is doing his very best to make pals in his new city. For example, he and his wife keep hosting goofy jazz events and inviting underprivileged children over to do their gardening for them. And, of course, they love to dine at many of DC's sanitary and palatable eateries when they aren't going on lavish dates to New York City.

    When the Obamas first came to town, locals hoped that they would start shopping not only for food and entertainment, but also a spiritual home. And many churches auditioned for the privilege of having their services disrupted and their members hassled by wand-waving Secret Service agents so that they could stare at the back of the Obama family's heads for a couple of hours on weekends when the president isn't traveling.

    But lo and behold, Barack Obama has been president for five long months and many wondered when or if he would ever settle on a church. The suspense was killing them! 

    That's why it was such a relief to hear he had settled on some weird nondenominational bungalow in the wilds of Maryland called "Evergreen Chapel," a spot where George W. Bush also went to church.

    A number of factors drove the decision — financial, political, personal — but chief among them was the desire to worship without being on display.

    Lest anyone breathe a sigh of relief that President Obama has at last concluded his long period of searching, rest assured that the rumors about Evergreen Chapel were very quickly quashed.

    “The President and First Family continue to look for a church home. They have enjoyed worshipping at Camp David and several other congregations over the months, and will choose a church at the time that is best for their family,” Deputy White House Press Secretary Jennifer Psaki said in a statement.

    If President Obama has time to acquire a dog, spend nearly a trillion dollars on fiscal stimulus, watch a Broadway play, and tap-dance around the election crisis in Iran, why does he not have the time to find a church? The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. Let's hope that President Obama doesn't take quite as long in his own quest.

    Spiritual advisor Sara K. Smith writes for NBC and Wonkette.