Punchlines ripped from the headlines

Joe Biden's "Top 10 Reasons to Vote Early"

From less crowded polling centers to the promise of a $5 million donation from Donald Trump, here are Vice President Biden’s “Top 10 Reasons to Vote Early.”

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Vice President Joe Biden dropped by "Late Show" on Thursday to urge voters to hit the polling stations early.

    Vice President Joe Biden hit the late night comedy circuit Thursday with a stop at David Letterman’s “Late Show,” where he gave voters the Top 10 reasons to head to the polls ahead of Election Day.

    In the weeks leading up to the election, President Barack Obama and Biden have encouraged voters to head to the polling stations early to help the Democrats win some of the key battleground states.

    The last time Biden helped the late night host with his Top 10 list was in May 2007, when was one of 10 senators reading the list. This time around Biden appeared solo, making his case for early voting and warning Letterman, “Dave, I hope to hell you voted.”

    From less crowded polling centers to the promise of a $5 million donation from Donald Trump, here are Vice President Biden’s “Top 10 Reasons to Vote Early.”

    10. I’m not saying each early voter gets a free cheeseburger, but I’m not saying they don’t either.

    9. It’s vastly more effective than voting late.

    8. You know who votes early? People with a backbone like a ramrod.

    7. In a less crowded polling place, there’s plenty of room to stretch out, linger and relax.

    6. If you vote early, you don’t have to pay taxes. Errr, I’m sorry, I’m being told that’s not accurate.

    5. Single and looking to mingle? Find that special someone on the early voting line.

    4. Of course, there’s the open bar!

    3. Not exercising your right to vote is malarkey. It’s literally malarkey.

    2. Early voters will receive a $5 million donation from Donald Trump.

    1. Honestly, don’t you want this election over with already?

    Check out the full clip below, courtesy of CBS: