Bethenny Frankel blamed herself for the recent miscarriage of her second child with husband Jason Hoppy.
The former “Real Housewives of New York” star-turned talk show host opened up about the February tragedy in a self-penned article for Glamour Magazine.
Doctors advised the 41-year-old to take it easy during her pregnancy as she was deemed “high risk” due to her age, Frankel explained in the article.
Though she cut down her workload, the reality star said she still felt extreme discomfort before the miscarriage.
“I was still bleeding, and I was nauseated and uncomfortable— ‘way worse than last time,’ I said to Jason,” she told Glamour.
Still, the couple remained hopeful and excited: they heard their baby’s heartbeat in the seventh week and even set up a nursery in Hoppy’s "man den," she said.
The next day, however, Bethenny began bleeding heavily during a visit to the Central Park Zoo with her 2-year-old daughter, Bryn. The bleeding worsened as Frankel later sat in the makeup chair for "Bethenny Ever After."
The couple rushed to the doctor’s office to undergo an ultrasound. The doctor found no heartbeat.
“Something was wrong. ‘I’m not finding it,’ he said. Jason said, ‘I don’t see it.’ And I’m like, ‘Is this a miscarriage?’ I didn’t know,” she recalled.
Frankel immediately attributed their tragic loss to her busy life.
She wrote, “I got dressed, we met the doctor in his office, and I launched into it. ‘Is it because I’m busy? My lifestyle? Is this my fault?’ I asked.” The doctor assured her otherwise, but the star remained heartbroken.
“There was something so sad about it—that there had been a life there, and then suddenly it was not there,' Frankel explained in the article.
During the grieving process, she eventually realized it wasn’t her fault.
“I had gotten over the guilt, but now I just felt bad for whoever she was going to be. I felt bad for that heartbeat. And I felt bad for Bryn,” Frankel wrote.
In her article, the “Bethenny Ever After” star explained she wanted to share her heartbreaking experience to comfort many women who suffer in silence.
“When it comes to miscarriage, there’s an all-out code of silence. Women can’t melt down; we’re the rock holding the family together. So we jam it in and suck it up. That’s what I did,” Frankel wrote.
The reality star was unsure if she would try to have another child.
"I'm healthy and could try again. But I don't want to be a 'trying' person. If it's meant to be, it will happen,” she explained.