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Tuesday Watch List: Stones! Snakes! Septubbleduplets!

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV that you can watch while planning your trip to Augusta National to see Tiger return.  LET’S GO!

    AMERICAN IDOL – 8:00PM (FOX)

    Oh, it’s the night you’ve been dreading for weeks. That’s right: Rolling Stones night. A dozen classics from the greatest rock band of all time will be butchered into submission by a bunch of forgettable camera hogs. Who will turn “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” into a twangy country hoedown? Who will completely misinterpret “Brown Sugar”? Who will inexplicably pick something off of “Steel Wheels”? Which faux rocker will make you never want to hear “Start Me Up” ever again? Oh, the tension is killing me. ANTICIPATION: EMOTIONAL RESCUE REQUIRED

    LOST – 9:00PM (ABC)

    Tonight’s episode is called “Recon”, and it involves Locke (or the Lockeness Monster or whatever he is now) giving Sawyer a mission. What will that mission be? Will Sawyer be forced to kill? Will he and Kate end up together? Is there life on Io, moon of Jupiter? Will we ever know the real lyrics to “Louie Louie”? WHAT ARE THE ELEVEN HERBS AND SPICES IN THE COLONEL’S ORIGINAL RECIPE? So many questions. ANTICIPATION: CONVOLUTED!

    TREASURE TOMB OF THE WARRIOR QUEEN – 8:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal network)

    No, it’s not a SyFy original movie. It’s a special about digging out a tomb from China’s Shang dynasty. My hope is that opening the tomb reveals a swarm of four billion locusts, and unleashes a giant sand monster that can swallow entire islands whole. But somehow, I doubt that’s what occurs. ANTICIPATION: REVEALING!

    19 KIDS AND COUNTING – 9:00PM (TLC)

    The Duggar family/sect is on TV again. This week, the girls in the family go out for an excursion. Only seven of them are impregnated in the process. ANTICIPATION: CROWDED

    THE MAN WHO INJECTS VENOM – 10PM (Animal Planet)

    A man regularly injects himself with venom from his own pet snakes. I assume he listens to tons of Jefferson Airplane while doing so. ANTICIPATION: HISSSSSS!!!!