NEW YORK, NY - JANUARY 05: Actors Pablo Schreiber, Stacy Keach, and Holt McCallany attend the premiere of "Lights Out" at Hudson Theatre on January 5, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images)
Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and polish your crystal football. LET’S GO!
LIGHTS OUT – 10:00PM (FX) I think people like boxing movies and TV shows more than they like ACTUAL boxing, which makes it the inverse of pretty much every other sport. So if you didn’t get enough fake boxing with “The Fighter,” or “Million Dollar Baby,” or “MVP: Chimp Boxer!” then you’re in luck. Because FX’s latest hourlong drama focuses on a punch-drunk boxer who’s deeply in debt and is looking to come back to the ring to help get his family back in the black. Will there be punching? Oh, yes. There will be punching. ANTICIPATION: PUNCHY!
ONION SPORTSDOME – 10:30PM (Comedy Central) The Onion’s new SportsCenter parody is not only Comedy Central’s first real attempt at a sports version of “The Daily Show” (something so many have tried to get on the air only to fail), but it also marks the first ever TV series from the folks at The Onion. This should be all be terribly exciting, and yet the reviews seem to be quite tepid. I have a theory as to why The Onion’s particular brand of humor doesn’t work on TV, and it’s this: When you watch a show like this, you want to know that there is some semblance of a real person delivering the jokes to you. You want to know they’re regular people with opinions and likes and dislikes. But The Onion doesn’t do that. It strips its on-camera people of any real personality and wraps them in so much irony that you feel like you’re watching a robot deliver jokes. That’s my two cents. Although if they have murder jokes, I’m there all the same. ANTICIPATION: FOR AREA SPORTS FANS!
TOSH.0 – 10:00PM (Comedy Central) For the season premiere, Daniel Tosh brings in the legendary Antoine Dodson for a Web Redemption. Antoine had straightened hair in the promos for this, and it was scarier than the actual intruder in his Alabama neighborhood. ANTICIPATION: THEY MOCKIN’ ERRBODY UP IN HERE!
TEEN MOM 2 – 10:00PM (MTV) New season! Watch as four teenagers try and raise kids and fail. Included is one girl battling her own mother for custody of her child. You idiot. Your mom WANTS your baby and you’re fighting it? FOOL! Let her do all the work and buy all the formula! Go to school! You just got a free ticket out of misery! ANTICIPATION: BABIES HAVING BABIES!
DIRTY JOBS – 9:00PM (Discovery) Mike heads to a distillery and watches molasses being turned into rum. Sweet, sweet rum. I must have you NOW. ANTICIPATION: ARRGGGGHHHH HANDS OFF ME RUM!