Earlier this year, the NFL Network hired Brad Nessler and Mike Mayock to announce their slate of Thursday Night games, kicking the team of Bob Papa, Matt Millen, and Joe Theismann to the curb. Ah, but ol' Joey Sunshine is never one to go quietly. Theeeeeezman spent last week publicly ripping Donovan McNabb (who, to be fair to Joe, is awful), and now he has his sights set on Tony Romo. Romo went Dave Dameshek's podcast this week and said the Cowboys need to begin seeking a replacement for their starting QB:
"Tony Romo continues to do things to hurt his football team," Theismann said on the podcast, which was released Thursday. "He doesn't understand how to play the quarterback position. Somebody had to say it, and I just said it. Tony, you have to start proving to everyone you understand football. You're doing things that Pop Warner kids would get benched for... I think the Cowboys seriously have to start looking to the future."
I like that Theismann congratulated himself for saying that Romo doesn't understand how to play QB. No one congratulates himself quite like Joe. Anyway, there are two parts to Joe's little manifesto here. The first is that Romo doesn't understand how to play QB, which is a stupid statement Theismann threw out just to gain attention (mission accomplished, sir). The second is that the Cowboys need to replace Romo, which is a much more reasonable idea that I'm sure you've been debating in your mind for the past four years.
But I'm hard-wired to disagree with everything Joe Theismann says because he's Joe Theismann and I can't stand him. Theismann's criticisms of Romo only make me want to defend Romo, which is insane because Romo played like an IDIOT in the second half last Sunday. Romo understands how to play QB. He knows that his job is to, like, throw the ball and stuff. Indeed, he understands the position better than many other quarterbacks, which is what makes it so horrible when he goes out and plays like someone put an electrical current to his nether regions. It's not Romo's understanding of the position that makes him a problem. It's that he plays just well enough to break your heart, and perhaps always will.
But Theismann is ignoring that more nuanced look at Romo in order to openly audition for another announcing gig, and I won't allow it. This man ruined my Sunday nights for too many years for me to let that happen. Anyone can tell you Tony Romo is a brainfart waiting to happen out on the field. But seeing the uniquely tortuous position Romo has put Cowboys fans in is another matter, one that has eluded Joey T entirely.