It’s that time of week. Time to man up and make your pick for Sunday’s game. Get it right, and The NFL Today will hire you to b their go-to gambling expert. You’ll make outlandish predictions and look like you just stumbled in from a dog track. You’ll anger Phyllis George with your terrible sexism. Then you’ll be fired for making a wild generalization about black people. Then you’ll die, and ESPN will commission a documentary about your life that includes a voice-over actor pretending to be your ghost and doing the worst impression of you anyone has ever heard. Get it wrong, and you can probably still do all that, so long as you look like a pit boss. Here we go:
Scott Crisp:Cowboys 25, Redskins 20
Josh Alper: Cowboys 21, Redskins 10
Bill Simmons: Skins.
Peter King: Cowboys 23, Redskins 13. “The Mike Shanahan Bowl (loser's one step closer to the well-tanned one) won't be much of a contest unless Tony Romo allows it to be one. I say he shrugs off The Nightmare on Lombardi Avenue and finds Miles Austin for a pair of TDs.” Loser gets Mike Shanahan? Can’t Danny and the Double J at least Indian wrestle for him?
95% Of SI Users: Cowboys.
Ten of Ten ESPN Experts:Dallas. NINE games this weekend have all 10 ESPN people behind them. These people are more in-step than the Navy SEALS.
Michael Silver: Cowboys.
95% Of Yahoo! Users: Cowboys.
Pete Prisco (CBS): Redskins.
Andy (Cowboys fan I know): Cowboys 40, Redskins 2 (“You know what would be a great death for Dan Snyder? If he were trampled to death. I don’t think anyone in the world would complain if he were trampled to death. It would be awesome.”)
Index Card I Threw Up In The Air With The Name Of Each Team On Either Side, Seeing Which Team Would Land Face Up: Cowboys. (Index Card record: 5-3)
The Wife: Redskins (DC native).
Me: Last week I predicted a Cowboys win and then predicted the Cowboys would lose because I predicted they would win. It’s just the kind of cheap, cover-my-ass ploy that has been carrying Bill Simmons and the like for years. Anyway, everyone is picking the Cowboys this week even though they did absolutely nothing to engender such confidence last week. And the whole Jessica Simpson thing completely destroys all the good feelings I once had about this team. Redskins 10, Cowboys 7
Yours in the comments.